My husband left the military after 10 years to help our marriage. It’s made us happier than ever.
- My husband served for 10 years and was in the top 5% of his field.
- Since he left the military, we’ve been happier and more connected than we’ve been in years.
- We moved our family to my quiet hometown and now have a more present life.
Sunrise brought the call of a rogue rooster crowing in our new neighborhood. My husband unearthed himself from our flannel sheets.
“This is the best sleep I’ve ever gotten,” he told me. “I can’t even describe how good I sleep every night.”
He didn’t have to. It’s the same for me. A few months into our new house — likely our forever home — we sleep sounder than we have in almost seven years of marriage.
It’s amazing what lifted weight did for our combined rest. No, it’s not because of a fancy, new mattress, but mental freedom from my spouse’s military enlistment.
There are no longer threats of middle-of-the-night calls, no need for 19-hour workdays. I happily deleted every alarm scheduled before 5 a.m.
Since he left the military, our life is a more premium version of itself. Sure, we still loved each other and our kids in the past. But we were muddling through the reality of a high-energy, high-stakes, and low-reward job.
My husband left his role in the military for our family
After 10 years, despite being in the top 5% of his field and having ranked up quickly, he cut ties. Not because of stress or because he wanted out. He did it for me.
We moved over 800 miles, to my hometown, where the population is just over 4,000, the cemetery owns as much ground as the town itself, and roosters tend to wander, even in the cold. We bought a house that’s quite literally situated between a hospital and a cemetery, each about 100 yards away.
Our move renewed our marriage. We have time for one another — actual time, not the here-are-the-bullet-points and it’s-my-turn-to-shower-first way of the past.
No longer are there the unknowns of where we would live or how long until his phone would start chiming.
We have a support system. Our kids have friends who (likely) won’t move states away.
We can settle. It’s an entirely new way to live.
We are so much happier now
We’re happier and more connected than we have been in years. We have an intimacy that allows time to connect, not just to check a box while being mentally exhausted. This is true of our physical time, but also emotionally. We have the energy and the desire to laugh, talk, and play.
We’re no longer two angry roommates sharing a space, but life partners enjoying constant pleasantries.
The move and exiting the military were like scrubbing the “dirty part” of the carpet and spraying some cleaner that uncovered a light spot. We scrubbed a little more only to realize that the entire thing was a wreck, and that we needed to bring in the carpet-cleaning machine. We had to put in a little work to make our lives fresh like before.
There was so much that weighed on us daily that until we reached the clarity of the other side, we didn’t know just how thick that load of dirt had become.
Of course, there were many positives that the military brought to our lives. We met new family and became more profound adults. It’s also what led us to meet each other. But ultimately, it was a journey that we’d completed.
For once, we put ourselves first. I’m never looking back.
Published On Insider
